What's your relationship personality?

I'm sure at some point in our lives, many of us have found ourselves in a hellish relationship disaster and moaned, "Why me???" While it's easy to point an accusing finger at everyone else, a good look at ourselves is more likely to give us the answers we need.

When it comes to relationship failure, the sad reality is: we may unknowingly possess certain traits which attract the wrong people or make us vulnerable to manipulation and abuse. Until we are able to identify those traits, chances are we'll keep making the same relationship mistakes and getting the same horrendous results.

In this article we'll explore some of these traits or personalities so that we can make better choices in the future. Which one best describes you?

The Sprinter

Is impulsive and famous for whirl-wind romances. This kind of person loves the drama and adrenaline rush that often accompanies a new relationship. He or she will buy extravagant gifts, organize on-the-spur-of-the-moment trips to Paris or Hawaii and shower the object of his / her affection with endless compliments and attention. Sprinters are extremely charming and know exactly what to say and do to sweep a partner off their feet.

However, the sprinter's excitement and passion is short-lived. They hate routine and quickly get bored once the relationship loses its initial "shivers down the spine" feeling. Sprinters also dread commitment and may bail from a relationship once it gets a little too serious, leaving a trail of broken hearts and shattered dreams.

The Marathoner

Is not as dramatic or impulsive as the sprinter. Actually, the marathoner is laid back and prefers to spend his or her time planning for the future. He or she will have detailed plans about where they want to buy a house, raise a family and send their kids to school. They are very practical and are reluctant to spend money on extravagant indulgences.

Marathoners are loving, soulful individuals who blossom in committed, long-term relationships. They may not fly you to Italy for your birthday, but they'll definitely be there for you when you need them most. If you're looking for someone to grow old with... someone to love you in sickness and in health... someone to watch sunsets with when you're wrinkled and grey, this is the right person for you. Sadly, Marathoners are often accused of being boring and may be dumped for someone more dramatic by those who enjoy living on the edge.

The Clinging vine

Like the name suggests, clinging vines tend to cling to their partner for dear life. They have smothering tendencies and prefer to have their Sweetheart to themselves ALL the time. They are controlling and may become moody, jealous and irrational if their partner engages in activities (social, religious or professional) which exclude them.

Clingers believe that their partner's life must revolve around them and vice-versa. They're anti-social and will try everything humanly possible to isolate their partner from the rest of the world - including ordering their partner to quit work, school or church. Clinging vines often suffer from deep insecurity and depression and may become suicidal if the relationship comes to an end.

The Marshmallow

The marshmallow is an overly tolerant, "I'll do whatever you want" type of partner. Their answer for everything is a big, resounding 'Yes', even when they disagree with what's being said. Marshmallows are willing to jump through hoops of fire, do somersaults and make outrageous sacrifices in order to please their partner.

They rarely ever stand up for themselves in case it drives their partner away. They're always willing to lay their own dreams, beliefs and interests aside for those of their Sweetheart. In other words, Marshmallows are door-mats who are not confident enough to stand their ground and speak out. They're easily manipulated and may choose to live unhappily ever after with an abusive partner than to walk away from a miserable relationship.

The Drama-king (or queen)

Thrives on hullabaloo and commotion. This type of partner doesn't feel alive unless there's trouble brewing somewhere. They'll often start fights and squabbles purely for their own entertainment and amusement. The drama king or queen's motto is "I am God's gift to women (or men)"

They secretly long for attention and feel that the only way to get it is by throwing fits and tantrums like a hungry 4 year old in a candy store. Drama kings and queens feel the greatest amount of satisfaction when they can get everyone (especially their partner) to fall to their knees and beg for mercy.

I've identified my Relationship Personality... what's next??

Once you've identified your weakness, the next step is to immediately start working on it. The key word in every relationship is "Balance." Too much of anything can become annoying and unbearable over time. A little drama and spontaneity is great every now and then, but it must be balanced with accountability, maturity and reason.

Bending over backwards to paint a smile on your partner's face can be really cute, but you should also be able to stand up for yourself and express your views in the relationship. Likewise, wanting your Beloved at your side 24-7 may be romantic, but it's important to realize that part of being in a loving relationship is trusting your partner and giving them room to follow their dreams and flourish without you keeping them on a tight leash.

Make an effort to maintain a healthy balance of spontaneity and order, excitement and peace, work and relaxation in your relationship.

Having said all that, here's to glorious, love-filled relationships! Cheers!