There are times when life deals us a heavy blows, when our world is turned upside down and every quest for answers ends in even greater misery. I'm not trying to be an online superstar. I'm just an ordinary girl who wants to share her experiences in the hopes that it will encourage someone who feels like they are at the end of their rope. This is my story.
In the year 2003, my paternal Grandma, a loving, compassionate woman with a killer sense of humor and outstanding dress sense, succumbed to Diabetes and passed on. She was only in her sixties. A retired primary school teacher, mother, wife, sister and grandmother, she was adored by everyone that knew her and took pride in loving others to the best of her ability.
Blessed with 12 grand-children, ranging from the ages of 1 to 18 years, her house was always packed with all of us kids, playing, running, screaming and being a terrible nuisance. Never did she yell at us when we broke her favorite china cups or scribbled on the walls or squeezed out all the toothpaste just for the fun of it. A broad smile was a permanent feature on her face, and her laughter, a song that played on and on through out the day.
Just 24 hours before she passed, she had spent the entire night nursing my uncle, who had a terrible case of food poisoning. He recovered. At that time, none of us could have guessed that just a day later, this Wonder Woman would be no more.
When we heard the news at 3 in the morning, our lives just about fell apart.I burst into violent sobs while my sister wept quietly. My usually cheerful and composed Dad looked like he'd just been hit by a train. Over the next 3 days, we cried and shared anecdotes about Grandma's life and legacy with tens of equally traumatized friends and relatives.
And for the very first time, I sang before an audience of hundreds at her funeral. Before her passing, I had been an extremely shy girl who would rather have eaten sand than stood in front of a crowd. But her death gave me the strength and courage to do what I'd always dreaded and avoided. Her legacy gave me a sense of purpose. I remembered the times she would listen to me sing and applaud me, even when her health was at its worst. That motivated me to step out of my comfort-zone and share my gift of song with the world.
And so I sang, " Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...", tears streaming down my face, on that rainy October afternoon, which also happened to be my birthday.
Looking back, my Grandma's passing was the beginning of a wonderful new Chapter in my life. Since then, I have sang at countless events, written numerous magazine articles and even done some Motivational speaking....and I'm getting better everyday!
It may feel like your life is one big, irreparable mess, but behind every cloud is a silver lining. Hold on, keep the faith and go for your dreams. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and press on. You are stronger than you can ever imagine. Use your pain to make a difference in the world. The best in life is waiting especially for you!
Wednesday, 26 June 2013
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
Don't worry - I've got your back!
I've always watched with great fascination (and horror) how the sexes respond when a new-comer arrives to join the group, be it at school, church or the work place. When a new guy arrives, all the males are quick to welcome him and make him feel at home. He is invited to the local hang-out for drinks after work, a barbeque at one of the guys' homes in the evening or a sporting event over the weekend. He is shown around town, taught the group's secret handshake and educated on the group's lingo. In no time at all, he's "one of the guys."
His male counterparts don't really give a hoot what kind of car he drives, how expensive his clothes are or which neighborhood he lives in. To them, he's a friend - someone to watch Football with, a pal to share the silliest jokes they would never dare tell anyone else and a spring-board to bounce ideas off of.
However, if the new comer happens to be a woman (or girl), all her female counterparts immediately embark on an Evaluation exercise. Is she prettier than me? More intelligent? More popular? A better dresser? Does she have longer hair? Should I feel threatened by her? If the answer to any of these questions is 'Yes', that marks the start of a silent war. The new comer is ignored and isolated, left to find her way around this strange and unfamiliar establishment alone. Often she is fixed with cold glares, gossiped about and sneered at.
While guys will rarely ever betray their best friends for a girl, the fairer sex will not hesitate to stab their home girls in the back for a crush. Ladies, this article is for us! Has your home-girl ever shared a secret with you and you broke her confidence the first chance you got? Have you ever turned your back on your life-long friends because your new boyfriend didn't 'like' them? Have you ever flirted with another girl's man, with no consideration whatsoever for how she might feel? Have you ever told your BFF she looked great in an outfit or hairstyle you knew was plain hideous, simply because you didn't want her to look better than you?
And when that boyfriend ultimately broke your heart and trampled all over your feelings, who helped dry your tears?Who listened to you cry, moan and snivel for days on end? Who comforted you with tender words of hope and encouragement? Who helped you pick up the pieces of your shattered dreams? Who took you out for lunch and treated you to your favorite dessert? Who helped you pick out a new dress so you could regain your confidence? Who styled your hair and painted your nails free of charge?
I can bet it was your BFF, sister or home-girl. It's high time we woke up and started looking out for each other instead of celebrating each others' downfall. Let's bury the hatchet and start a revolution. Stand up for your home-girls when they are attacked and respect their opinion when they try to correct you. Don't, and I repeat, don't flirt with your home-girl's man! Get your own! Like the guys, let's present a united front to the world - no back-biting or Judas Iscariot antics!United, we can achieve extraordinary things!
His male counterparts don't really give a hoot what kind of car he drives, how expensive his clothes are or which neighborhood he lives in. To them, he's a friend - someone to watch Football with, a pal to share the silliest jokes they would never dare tell anyone else and a spring-board to bounce ideas off of.
However, if the new comer happens to be a woman (or girl), all her female counterparts immediately embark on an Evaluation exercise. Is she prettier than me? More intelligent? More popular? A better dresser? Does she have longer hair? Should I feel threatened by her? If the answer to any of these questions is 'Yes', that marks the start of a silent war. The new comer is ignored and isolated, left to find her way around this strange and unfamiliar establishment alone. Often she is fixed with cold glares, gossiped about and sneered at.
While guys will rarely ever betray their best friends for a girl, the fairer sex will not hesitate to stab their home girls in the back for a crush. Ladies, this article is for us! Has your home-girl ever shared a secret with you and you broke her confidence the first chance you got? Have you ever turned your back on your life-long friends because your new boyfriend didn't 'like' them? Have you ever flirted with another girl's man, with no consideration whatsoever for how she might feel? Have you ever told your BFF she looked great in an outfit or hairstyle you knew was plain hideous, simply because you didn't want her to look better than you?
And when that boyfriend ultimately broke your heart and trampled all over your feelings, who helped dry your tears?Who listened to you cry, moan and snivel for days on end? Who comforted you with tender words of hope and encouragement? Who helped you pick up the pieces of your shattered dreams? Who took you out for lunch and treated you to your favorite dessert? Who helped you pick out a new dress so you could regain your confidence? Who styled your hair and painted your nails free of charge?
I can bet it was your BFF, sister or home-girl. It's high time we woke up and started looking out for each other instead of celebrating each others' downfall. Let's bury the hatchet and start a revolution. Stand up for your home-girls when they are attacked and respect their opinion when they try to correct you. Don't, and I repeat, don't flirt with your home-girl's man! Get your own! Like the guys, let's present a united front to the world - no back-biting or Judas Iscariot antics!United, we can achieve extraordinary things!
"After all those years as a woman hearing, 'not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,' almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, 'I'm enough.' " Anna Quindlen
Friday, 14 June 2013
Haters, don't laugh yet!
Yes, I was fired from work. Yes, my boss refused to give me a raise. Yes, my car was repossessed. Yes, my doctor said I have cancer. Yes, I failed my last audition. Yes, the great love of my life left me for somebody else. Yes,I have become a social recluse. But haters, don't laugh yet. Cancel your parties and champagne orders - I may be down but I'm certainly not out. Not by a long shot!
In Ecclesiastes 3, wise King Solomon declares, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die,a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..."
I may be crying, broken, bruised and battered, but the time is coming when I will laugh, conquer, flourish and excel. So haters, cancel your gloating sessions. I have an appointment with destiny and won't miss it for anything.
In verse 11 of Ecclesiastes 3, the wisest king of all time goes on to say, "God makes all things beautiful in their time." Note, he uses the phrase, "in their time", not "in His (God's) time." This means there is a set time for everything and God Himself honors that principle.
When the time comes for Spring to begin, God makes sure that it happens - snow melts, temperatures rise, nights get shorter and seemingly dead vegetation miraculously comes back to life. Man doesn't need to bust his backside trying to force the onset of Spring - it's set, predestined, definite and nature has no choice but to comply. Similarly,when the season comes for me to rise again, God will ensure that it happens, right on time, no delays or postponements.
When my moment of glory arrives, no challenge, hater, disease or devil will be able to hold me down. I will get that promotion at work. I will start a successful business. I will marry an outstanding partner. I will buy my dream house. I will live in perfect health.I will soar above every set-back. So haters, don't laugh yet. The best is yet to come!
In Ecclesiastes 3, wise King Solomon declares, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die,a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..."
I may be crying, broken, bruised and battered, but the time is coming when I will laugh, conquer, flourish and excel. So haters, cancel your gloating sessions. I have an appointment with destiny and won't miss it for anything.
In verse 11 of Ecclesiastes 3, the wisest king of all time goes on to say, "God makes all things beautiful in their time." Note, he uses the phrase, "in their time", not "in His (God's) time." This means there is a set time for everything and God Himself honors that principle.
When the time comes for Spring to begin, God makes sure that it happens - snow melts, temperatures rise, nights get shorter and seemingly dead vegetation miraculously comes back to life. Man doesn't need to bust his backside trying to force the onset of Spring - it's set, predestined, definite and nature has no choice but to comply. Similarly,when the season comes for me to rise again, God will ensure that it happens, right on time, no delays or postponements.
When my moment of glory arrives, no challenge, hater, disease or devil will be able to hold me down. I will get that promotion at work. I will start a successful business. I will marry an outstanding partner. I will buy my dream house. I will live in perfect health.I will soar above every set-back. So haters, don't laugh yet. The best is yet to come!
Tuesday, 4 June 2013
I love ME!
Well, let me begin by revealing that I'm one of those girls who has a child-like look about her. For many years I was frustrated and annoyed as guys described me as "cute, "sweet" and "adorable", while other girls enjoyed compliments such as "hot", "gorgeous" and "attractive." Among my 20-something year old friends, I was the teen-faced girl who was always presumed to be the 'baby' of the group, though I was in fact the eldest. This totally drove me up the wall.
Not surprisingly, I spent tonnes of hard-earned cash on attempts to appear more mature. I purchased heaps of make-up, fashion accessories and religiously watched TV shows on beauty and grooming, in the hopes of bringing out the "lady" in me. While I received many compliments on my dramatic transformation from "cute" to "sassy", I hated the hassle it took to achieve that look on a daily basis.
Being a bit of a tom-boy, I thoroughly disliked spending hours combing, brushing, curling and blow-drying my hair every morning. I abhorred having to touch up my make up every few hours during the day. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy getting dolled up from time to time, but I'm just not a fashionister. I'm one of those girls who can relate to Sandra Bullock's character in Miss Congeniality 1.
After numerous mishaps: tripping in a pair of stilettos, getting my hair caught in a pair of big earrings, having my make-up run on a hot summer day, I realized that the whole "Supermodel" look just wasn't for me. There was nothing wrong with being "cute", "sweet" and "adorable." In fact, I'm pretty sure there are lots of "hot" women who would love to look as fresh-faced as they did during their teen years - minus the acne and pimples.
The moral of my short tale is this: just be You! Love yourself the way you are - tall, short, dark-skinned, light-skinned, freckled or bespectacled. Maybe you've been told you speak or laugh kinda strange - that's okay. Being different doesn't make you inferior - it just shows how unique you are. You are special, authentic, God's very own masterpiece.
In romantic relationships, don't lose the essence of who you are in an attempt to impress your partner. Stay true to yourself, keep it real. If he or she can't love you for who you are, they're probably wrong for you. There's an amazing guy or girl out there who is looking for someone who walks, talks, laughs, sings, dresses, jokes around, works, plays and looks just like you.
Go for your dreams, reach for the stars.Do all those wonderful and exciting things you've always wanted to do. Travel, sky-dive, start a business, audition for an acting or singing part, learn a foreign language - whatever your dream, chase it! A certain quote by Farrah Gray caught my eye the other day. It goes like this, "Build your dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs."
Don't spend so much time being what other people want you to be that you forget who you really are and what you want for your life.When you love yourself, you become a powerful and attractive force that makes things happen and frees others to love themselves also.
In closing, I'd like to make a toast: here's to being 100 percent YOU - phenomenal,outstanding, genuine and amazing you!
Not surprisingly, I spent tonnes of hard-earned cash on attempts to appear more mature. I purchased heaps of make-up, fashion accessories and religiously watched TV shows on beauty and grooming, in the hopes of bringing out the "lady" in me. While I received many compliments on my dramatic transformation from "cute" to "sassy", I hated the hassle it took to achieve that look on a daily basis.
Being a bit of a tom-boy, I thoroughly disliked spending hours combing, brushing, curling and blow-drying my hair every morning. I abhorred having to touch up my make up every few hours during the day. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy getting dolled up from time to time, but I'm just not a fashionister. I'm one of those girls who can relate to Sandra Bullock's character in Miss Congeniality 1.
After numerous mishaps: tripping in a pair of stilettos, getting my hair caught in a pair of big earrings, having my make-up run on a hot summer day, I realized that the whole "Supermodel" look just wasn't for me. There was nothing wrong with being "cute", "sweet" and "adorable." In fact, I'm pretty sure there are lots of "hot" women who would love to look as fresh-faced as they did during their teen years - minus the acne and pimples.
The moral of my short tale is this: just be You! Love yourself the way you are - tall, short, dark-skinned, light-skinned, freckled or bespectacled. Maybe you've been told you speak or laugh kinda strange - that's okay. Being different doesn't make you inferior - it just shows how unique you are. You are special, authentic, God's very own masterpiece.
In romantic relationships, don't lose the essence of who you are in an attempt to impress your partner. Stay true to yourself, keep it real. If he or she can't love you for who you are, they're probably wrong for you. There's an amazing guy or girl out there who is looking for someone who walks, talks, laughs, sings, dresses, jokes around, works, plays and looks just like you.
Go for your dreams, reach for the stars.Do all those wonderful and exciting things you've always wanted to do. Travel, sky-dive, start a business, audition for an acting or singing part, learn a foreign language - whatever your dream, chase it! A certain quote by Farrah Gray caught my eye the other day. It goes like this, "Build your dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs."
Don't spend so much time being what other people want you to be that you forget who you really are and what you want for your life.When you love yourself, you become a powerful and attractive force that makes things happen and frees others to love themselves also.
In closing, I'd like to make a toast: here's to being 100 percent YOU - phenomenal,outstanding, genuine and amazing you!
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