Don't worry - I've got your back!

I've always watched with great fascination (and horror) how the sexes respond when a new-comer arrives to join the group, be it at school, church or the work place. When a new guy arrives, all the males are quick to welcome him and make him feel at home. He is invited to the local hang-out for drinks after work, a barbeque at one of the guys' homes in the evening or a sporting event over the weekend. He is shown around town, taught the group's secret handshake and educated on the group's lingo. In no time at all, he's "one of the guys."

His male counterparts don't really give a hoot what kind of car he drives, how expensive his clothes are or which neighborhood he lives in. To them, he's a friend - someone to watch Football with, a pal to share the silliest jokes they would never dare tell anyone else and a spring-board to bounce ideas off of.

However, if the new comer happens to be a woman (or girl), all her female counterparts immediately embark on an Evaluation exercise. Is she prettier than me? More intelligent? More popular? A better dresser? Does she have longer hair? Should I feel threatened by her? If the answer to any of these questions is 'Yes', that marks the start of a silent war. The new comer is ignored and isolated, left to find her way around this strange and unfamiliar establishment alone. Often she is fixed with cold glares, gossiped about and sneered at.

While guys will rarely ever betray their best friends for a girl, the fairer sex will not hesitate to stab their home girls in the back for a crush. Ladies, this article is for us! Has your home-girl ever shared a secret with you and you broke her confidence the first chance you got? Have you ever turned your back on your life-long friends because your new boyfriend didn't 'like' them? Have you ever flirted with another girl's man, with no consideration whatsoever for how she might feel? Have you ever told your BFF she looked great in an outfit or hairstyle you knew was plain hideous, simply because you didn't want her to look better than you?

And when that boyfriend ultimately broke your heart and trampled all over your feelings, who helped dry your tears?Who listened to you cry, moan and snivel for days on end? Who comforted you with tender words of hope and encouragement? Who helped you pick up the pieces of your shattered dreams? Who took you out for lunch and treated you to your favorite dessert? Who helped you pick out a new dress so you could regain your confidence? Who styled your hair and painted your nails free of charge?

I can bet it was your BFF, sister or home-girl. It's high time we woke up and started looking out for each other instead of celebrating each others' downfall. Let's bury the hatchet and start a revolution. Stand up for your home-girls when they are attacked and respect their opinion when they try to correct you. Don't, and I repeat, don't flirt with your home-girl's man! Get your own! Like the guys, let's present a united front to the world - no back-biting or Judas Iscariot antics!United, we can achieve extraordinary things!

  

"After all those years as a woman hearing, 'not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,' almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, 'I'm enough.' " Anna Quindlen