Well, after a few decades of being on God's beautiful green earth (I'm not telling how many decades exactly!), I've learned a few important and mind-blowing lessons about love and relationships. Here are some of them. Enjoy!
1. Many of us spend all of our time looking for a replica of ourselves - someone who thinks, acts and speaks like we do... someone who agrees with everything we think, everything we say and everything we do - no matter how ridiculous or insanely foolish it is. And the reason?
We're absolutely petrified of finding someone who'll challenge us to step out of our comfort zone, someone who'll encourage us to do things differently, someone who'll expect growth from us, and worst of all, someone who'll tell us when we're wrong...
But the truth is: real love isn't about finding a replica of yourself. It's about finding someone who compliments you - someone who helps bring out the wonderful potential that's lying dormant within you, someone who motivates you to learn and grow - and you can't learn and grow doing what you've always done in the way you've always done it.
You need someone with a different perspective from yours - someone who's strong where you're weak, someone who'll help you up when you fall. When you finally find that amazing person who makes you want to do better, think better and be better, you're moving in the right direction.
2. After falling for the wrong person, one of the most popular explanations is, "It's not my fault- You can't choose who you fall in love with. The heart wants what it wants." But what if I told you that you CAN choose who you fall in love with?
When you first meet someone that's really good looking, fun, charming and intelligent - there's that spark, that chemistry you feel... that's not love. That's just 'attraction' and it's normal. But you do have the power to choose whether you feed that attraction and allow it to develop into love.
Before you do that, (allow attraction to develop into love), use your head. Think about it... objectively and clearly. Is this person really good for you? Do they share your values and principles? Are they looking for a committed relationship or a short summer fling? Are they single and available, or taken and trying to cheat on their partner? Would you be willing to introduce them to your parents?
Don't pursue a relationship with someone if your conscience or common sense tells you otherwise. Most of you know what I'm talking about - that nagging feeling that you're making the mistake of your life. If you feel in any way uneasy about dating a certain person, keep your distance - no matter how gorgeous, charming and intelligent they may be. Use your power to choose wisely.
3. Every relationship is different, and every relationship has its challenges. If you're on the hunt for an easy, smooth-sailing, problem-free relationship, you'll be searching for a long, long, long time. There'll be bumps along the way - face them together, with hope and love. Don't run and hide every time a challenge crops up. Hang in there and make it work!
And don't compare your relationship with someone else's - the dynamics of each and every relationship are unique, because the individuals involved are unique. You are NOT your friend - so don't compare your relationship with your friend's relationship. Celebrate the uniqueness of your relationship and enjoy the journey!
What are YOUR personal tips about love and relationships? I'd love to hear them!
'Til next time!
Love, laugh, love!
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