Maybe you've been there yourself, or are in that position right now. After tonnes of soul-searching and research, I found these pointers, which can help cement a relationship so that it survives the storms of life.
1. Don't air your dirty relationship laundry in public
I'll get straight to the point on this one. Don't broadcast your relationship problems to anyone and everyone who cares to listen. A lot of relationships fall apart because too much information is given to all the wrong people. Not everyone who offers a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen has your relationship's best interests at heart. If you're going through a rough patch in your love life and need to let off some steam, talk to a Counselor or trusted friend. Don't expose your issues to the whole world.
2. Don't criticize your partner publicly
You may not agree with everything your Sweetheart thinks, says or does, but don't expose their weaknesses and flaws to other people. Criticizing your partner in the presence of all and sundry only gives your haters the ammunition they need to completely annihilate your relationship. So, always present a united front publicly and iron out your issues behind closed doors.
3. Watch your tone!
If you constantly treat your man like a creep, make endless demands and question his every move, he'll eventually find someone who treats him like a king - someone who always smiles, cheers him on and tells him that he's the most wonderful creature under the sun. And guys, if you're ever telling your girl how fat she is, how terrible she looks in that outfit and are fond of incessantly talking about everything that's wrong with her, she'll find a man who appreciates all her 'curves and all her edges, all her perfect imperfections.' So, cut the nagging, complaining and criticism. It's good to be honest about what you don't like, but don't make a habit of focusing on the negative. If you have nothing nice to say, sometimes it's just better to keep your mouth shut.
4. No secrets!
We all have haters out there who'd love nothing better than to expose our dark and twisted past to our new man or lady, and then sit back and watch us squirm. So, beat them to the punch by telling your partner everything about your life before they hear it from somebody else. If you were married before, have a child or were in prison, talk about it. Total honesty will build trust between the 2 of you and make it easier for your partner to have your back when the town gossips start rumour-mongering.
5. Beware of inappropriate friendships
Watch out for associations that resemble romantic liasons and divert your focus from your actual dating relationship. These tend to keep you busy while sucking the life, excitement and intimacy from your relationship with your partner. So, set clear boundaries for the people around you and let them know that your partner comes first in everything - not 2nd, 3rd, 4th or last! Ladies, if a handsome co-worker invites you to a party at his place, tell him that you'd like to bring your man. And guys, when that cute secretary asks you to help her move into her new apartment, let her know that you're either bringing your Sweetheart or not showing up at all. Don't entertain any behavior or friendship that could potentially jeopardize your relationship.
6. Pray!
I know some don't subscribe to this, but I'll say it anyway. Pray! It'll help you find the right person for you, heal your soul after a traumatic break-up and reveal those things that you need to work on so that you have a loving, happy and secure relationship.
I hope these pointers help as you build your happily-ever-after. Please let me know what you think and feel free to share your own pointers and relationship experiences on this page.
Love and blessings!
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