My recent experiences with guys, some of them utterly hilarious, others insanely annoying, have driven me to write this article - emphasis on the word 'driven.' I figure there are lots of confused, frustrated men out there who have absolutely no inkling whatsoever about what women want.
There are also scores of women who are completely worn out from trying to explain their expectations. So, I've taken it upon myself to clearly lay the facts on the table for everyone's benefit.
Basically, women need a number of things in their men, but I'll focus on three major ones which I believe can make or break a relationship.
1. Care and concern for our well being
The guy who responds to news about a bereavement in his girlfriend's family with a mere, "Oh, shame man!", before going silent for a week is applying for a break-up. So is the guy who makes his girl carry an elephant-sized box while he strolls ahead yelling, "Hurry up! Walk faster!" with only a newspaper in his hand.
Then there's the guy who clings to his jacket on a chilly evening and pretends not to see his girlfriend shivering helplessly beside him. But the guy who takes the 'Loser Trophy' is the one who invites his girl to a Party, and when she reveals that she needs to head home, replies, "Oh, cool. Cheers!", and continues dancing or socializing. He doesn't bother walking her to her car or taxi and making sure she gets home in one piece.
Men, this is not rocket science. What we, ladies need, is a guy who cares about our well being. That means checking on us when we're sick or have suffered a bereavement. It means making sure that we're safe and comfortable. We need a guy who offers to carry heavy bags for us, offers us his jacket on a cold day and finds out how we're doing at work, school or home.
If you're struggling to show a little consideration for your girl's physical and emotional well being now, how will you handle caring for her and a couple of kids in the future? Food for thought.
2. Faith in our dreams
Lots of guys have been wrongly made to believe that all we, ladies want, are material things. So they work their backsides off trying to make enough money to shower us with gifts of all shapes and sizes. Don't get me wrong - we appreciate all your hard work and presents. But, women need a lot more than shoes, jewellery and expensive hand-bags.
Guys, it's important for you to know what the lady in your life is passionate about, what her dreams and ambitions are. And when you find out, don't stop there. Get involved in helping her achieve her goals. Support her in the pursuit of her dreams and be her biggest cheerleader. That's one of the best gifts you can ever give her.
3. Respect for our family and culture
Whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist, every woman wants a man who respects her values and beliefs. A real man not only respects his woman's faith, but her family too.
In my culture, after proposing to his girl, a guy sends his uncles to his fiancee's family to officially ask for her hand in marriage. If his proposal is accepted by the bride's parents, the groom-to-be presents his new in-laws with various gifts as a gesture of gratitude. These gifts usually include outfits for the bride's mother and father, groceries and blankets.
The presentation of these gifts is followed by a huge banquet, which is hosted by the bride's family in honor of their new son in-law. (The 'church wedding' comes several weeks or months later)
The entire process is highly exhilarating and gives the bride and groom's families a chance to bond. It's also a way of testing the groom's love and commitment. Now, I've met a number of guys who refuse to honor this tradition. Some simply decide to boycott the proceedings. If they make do an appearance, they either come extremely late or empty-handed.
Such guys are often rude and get into embarrassing arguments with their in-laws through out the proceedings. This not only humiliates the bride in front of her family, but leaves everyone thinking, "Maybe he doesn't love her at all."
Guys, note: If you truly love your girl, you'll be prepared to meet her parents' requirements. If they invite you to dinner, please show up, look good and be on your best behavior. Don't arrive late, drunk or make inappropriate comments.
Part of loving someone is respecting their culture, family and religion. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Well, I hope this article has been an eye-opener for those men who've been asking, "What does the fairer sex really want?" I also hope it assists those ladies who are stuck in dysfunctional relationships and helps them realize that they deserve far better. The best in life is waiting!
P.S: I'd love to hear from you. Does your family have any traditions with regards to dating or marriage? What have been some of your experiences?
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