I'm quite sure we've all been heart-broken, shattered or disappointed at some point in our lives. Perhaps we didn't get the job we wanted, we didn't do as well as we hoped in our exams, we failed an audition or were rejected by the big love of our lives. Someone we deeply care about might have gotten severely ill or even passed on, or we could personally be facing a life-threatening situation.
The truth is: a lot of terrible things happen in life, even to good people, and when they do, we need to know how to handle them. People deal with tragedy in a variety of ways, depending on their circumstances, beliefs and personalities. Introverts may choose to isolate themselves socially and build impenetrable walls around themselves, while extroverts may resort to radical and often wild behavior - crime, violence and so forth.
Like many people out there, I've had my world turned upside-down a few times, and hope the following pointers will encourage those who may be going through a similar experience.
1. Don't react. Respond. 'Reacting' is speaking or acting out of impulse. 'Responding' on the other hand involves taking a step back, evaluating the situation and finding the best possible means of solving the problem. When you are furious, devastated or emotionally worked up, it's best to walk away for a while in order to avoid saying or doing things that you will regret later on. I've had to learn that lesson the hard way, after my big mouth got me into messy situations that easily could have been avoided. Also,the experts say it's usually in fits of rage that people commit violent crimes and end up in jail. Don't become a statistic.Take time out, think clearly, weigh your options and then respond.
2. Before you get romantically involved, check yourself. Don't get into a relationship hoping to create a diversion from your problems. True happiness comes from within - it's not something someone else can give you.
A few years back I dated a guy who suffered from serious bouts of depression. For a long time I blamed myself for his condition and thought perhaps I was doing something wrong to make him so unhappy. I tried for months on end to improve myself and be the perfect girlfriend. I bought him presents, showered him with encouragement, supported his dreams and made sure I never complained, even when he was being cold and insensitive.
All the same, he got more and more depressed. On really bad days he would lock himself indoors and drink himself into a stupor. One day I realized that there was nothing I could do to make him happy. He needed to find the root cause of his depression and deal with it himself before he could find true happiness.
3. Face your problems. Burying your head in the sand and pretending they don't exist won't make them go away. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you're hurting, scared, confused or angry. Be real about what you're going through and take positive steps to conquer it. Acceptance is the first step to finding a solution.
4.Be accountable to someone - but not just anyone. Find people who have your best interests at heart and will encourage you to do the right thing. A little support from good friends can go a long way. Sharing your problems will make them feel less daunting, and you might also find that there are others who have gone through a similar situation. Like the saying goes, "A problem shared is a problem solved."
5. Don't be too hard on yourself. No one is perfect.You may be down now, but you're certainly not out! Keep the faith, pick yourself up and go for your dreams. Don't let your problems make you bitter - instead, let them make you BETTER. You are destined for greatness!
I hope this helps! God bless!
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